Trying to Jump the Next Hurtle

   People always say, once you have children you never stop worrying. I have always been an extremely light sleeper. But now..since having Stella things have changed. What used to be light sleep...is now no sleep...laying awake, gazing at the ceiling, just worrying about everything and anything. This hurtle that we are trying to jump now can be blamed all on me. Stella is still sleeping next to me for two reasons mainly. One, she stills eats twice a night (sometimes once if I am lucky) and two, I feel much more secure with her being an arms length away. I need to stop being selfish and begin to transition her into her nursery. I know she will sleep much better in her own room and this will be much better for her. The hardest part has been getting her used to her crib....after napping like a rockstar in it, she began to boycott it! I have tried EVERYTHING! Swaddling, womb bear, building the bed up with receiving blankets to make an incline, soft lullabies, playtime in her crib, you name it, I feel like I have tried it. I just recently put a pillow under her mattress to give her whole bed a slight incline, and rolled up a hand towel and put it in a U shape that hugs her bum(to make her feel more secure and bundled like she was sitting in a swing), and I even cut the head rest pillow out of her rock and play and put it in her crib hoping a familiar feeling and scent would help her get cozy.
    While I keep battling the crib blues,  I have started to put her rock and play right next to her crib at night. For our night time routine, we will focus on changing one thing at a time.  First, we are changing the scenery at night; she is beginning to sleep in her nursery but still in her rock and play.  Guess where I slept? Right next to her rock and play on her nursery floor. I can honestly say I think the transition is way harder on me than it is on her. It is killing me knowing that she will not be a reach away, and if she needs me right away I am not there. I told Rick to not be surprised if he wakes up one morning and finds me in her crib laying beside her. A girls gotta do what she's gotta do to catch some Zzz's :) I will write an update soon about our progress. Fingers crossed for a smooth transition to Stella sleeping in her nursery at night and for Momma to be sleeping in her own bed with the hubby :)

Playtime in the crib!

Now that Stella has entered this world, I don't see the worrying ever going away. I just want to protect her from everything possible, this world. Worry, fear, anxiety, inadequacy all come with the territory of being a mom. The only cure is to simply walk through it and as long as you're still walking, you will eventually get there.