I finally got Stella's birth story together. Sorry for the length, but I wanted to remember all those details and I wanted to keep it all in one post.
Stella Evelyn's Birth Story
When 40 weeks
finally arrived, each and every day felt like an eternity. Who am I kidding? When 37 weeks rolled around each and every day
felt like an eternity. 37 weeks pregnant
and I was ready for it to be over! One, I just wanted to meet the little
munchkin, and two I wanted to not feel like a beached whale. Everyone told me
that I was going to miss being pregnant and I thought they were full of crap. Let’s
just say they were right! I missed being pregnant, I missed everything about
it. I missed the feeling of her kicking, I missed the nonstop hiccups, I missed
how protected from the world she was. Shit, I missed people holding doors for
the pregnant lady, offering to load my packages in my car, and lift heavy
things for me.
I had my weekly
checkup at 40 weeks. The doctor asked me if I had had any contractions and I told
her none that were worth timing. I did have a ton of Braxton hicks. She hooked
me up to a machine that counted any contractions or Braxton hicks. I remember laying
there and hearing the doctor and lady in the next room. She was being sent up
to Labor and delivery. I wanted so bad to be told the same thing. I was told it
just a ton of Braxton hicks and that the baby wasn’t fazed the least by them.
As a matter of fact, she was amazed at the amount of movement by the baby. This
was a Tuesday, and she was giving me until Monday. We scheduled an induction
for 7:00 am on Monday September 23, 2013. I was sent home 1 cm dilated and about
60% effaced. I wanted so bad for the baby to come on her own and to not have to
be induced. I walked more, I scrubbed all of our hard wood floors on my hands
and knees. I did everything I could to help her along.
Sunday night rolled
around. The induction cloud was hovering over me. I finished packing all of our hospital bags
and put them by the front door. I was excited because either way I was going to
meet our little girl. I couldn’t sleep that night. I was a ball of emotions. I
was nervous, anxious, excited, scared…
Monday morning came
slowly. Rick and I woke up, showered and packed up the car. I was allowed to
eat a very light breakfast so had some toast.
 |
| 41 weeks pregnant. Before heading to the hospital. |
We were finally on our way
to the hospital. It was such a strange feeling knowing that when we come home
we were going to have another little human being with us. Driving there, in a
way I felt defeated. I longed to experience that first labor pain, timing
contractions at home with my husband, and for the baby to come on her own. I tried to drain that out with my feelings of excitement
that I was going to meet the little miss.
We arrived and checked in at 7:00a.m. Not long after, we were in our
room and getting settled (which I didn’t know at the time… but was going to be
our room for the next 6 days) By 8:00 am
the nurse came in first went over all our paper work, and placed that god for saken IV in my arm and got the
fluids pumping.
The doctor came in
and ordered the Cervidil to get the show on the road. It all started to really
sink in. She warned me it could be a while and that we probably wouldn’t have
the baby until tomorrow. That meant for
a long day and long night. It didn’t take long before I started hyper contracting.
They were coming too close together and I wasn’t dilating at the same rate. I
felt each and every contraction. The
doctor decided to take out the Cervidil. Too many contractions, way too
quickly. We waited to see if my body would react on its own, and if the
contractions would continue and sure enough they did. The doctor had decided to
start the Pitocin later that day. I still
wasn’t dilating like I should have been. My sciatic nerve was giving me a great
deal of pain. I tried moving as much as I could to stretch it out…no good. Rick
and I tried walking around the halls. My sciatic nerve was so bad, the walk was
short lived. Later that evening the
contractions got very intense. They were so intense at times I was on all
fours. I remember at one point I was in
tears, and looked right at Rick and told him I couldn’t do this anymore. Rick
was a gift from God, he kept reassuring me, and telling me everything was going
to be ok. I still wasn’t dilated enough for
an epidural. The nurse offered me a small dose of meds that would ease a little
bit of the pain. I was skeptical and questioned if it would affect the baby at
all. After she reassured us it wouldn’t, it was a go. Next thing I know I am
laying on my side getting my first ever shot in my ass! That shit hurt! It sure
as hell relaxed me, which I was told was important to help me dilate. Since I was
in so much pain, my body was tense and it wasn’t dilating like it was suppose
to. After that dose, I looked at Rick and told him I felt like I had drank a
bottle of wine…without the calories of course J
I tried to get as much rest as I could. It was wee hours in the morning and it
had worn off. I was exhausted. I just wanted it to be over already. The nurse
checked me and I was 4-5 cm dilated. She told me I could have the epidural now
if I wanted it. I told her I wanted it like yesterday! I was back on all fours,
crying in pain waiting for the anesthesiologist. I kept telling myself, I was
not going to be that one that yelled
at her hubby for knocking her up! Waiting for the epidural felt like a
lifetime! At last, he arrived! They made Rick leave the room while he prepped
my back for the epidural. This was the part that I was afraid of since the
first day I found out I was expecting! Boy, did I have my shit backwards! The epidural
was a breeze; it was the contractions that were a killer! I had dead legs,
couldn’t move a damn thing past my waist. I was once again able to relax and get some
sleep for the night, what was left of it.
Early that Tuesday morning the doctor
checked me because I started to have a slight feeling to want to bear down. I
was 8 cm! Two to go! Hours went by and I was stuck at 8 cm. I told the doctor
the pressure to bear down had gotten more intense. She decided to check me
again. As she was checking to see if I had dilated anymore, she quickly called
the doctor and told her to come stat! She thought she felt the baby’s head! The
doctor rushed into the room out of breath, and checked if it was in fact the
baby’s head. I thought for sure it was time to push. And then….that feeling of defeat filled me
when she told me we were going to have to have a cesarean section. I felt the
tears fall. (the last thing that I googled on my phone on the way to the
hospital was, what percentage of women induced end up having a c-section?). The
cervix was too swollen, and the baby was not going to fit through the pelvis.
All I have ever dreamt of was having a natural delivery; having the baby put on
my chest, bonding time with skin to skin, nursing her. I felt so sad to not be
able to have any of that. The doctor left the room so Rick and I could talk.
Thank god for Rick. Call me selfish, but I was worried about the scar that was
going to be left behind, the long recovery, and the thought of having someone
cut my stomach open. Rick was so soothing, encouraging and reminded me we had
to do the best thing for the baby. He
was my rock that day. The doctor came back in, gave Rick his scrubs for the OR
and told us we were going in for surgery in 30 minutes. I knew I was doing the
right thing for the baby, but the tears were endless. I told Rick I would see
him in the OR, and I tried my hardest to hold back the tears as I was being
wheeled down the hall. This was not in my plan….is it ever? After being wheeled into the OR, they asked
me to roll my way onto the surgery table. I couldn’t feel anything from my
waist down, therefore I couldn’t move an inch. I remember laying there, just
waiting for Rick and wanting him by my side. Tears were still falling. This time
I couldn’t wipe them because my arms were strapped down. I remember being so cold. Rick finally walked
in and sat beside me. I was trying so hard to fight the fear that was written
all over my face. I tried to make small talk with Rick to keep my mind busy. I
felt a shit load pressure. I couldn’t see much over the curtain, but I heard
the doctor having a hard time getting the baby out. She kept telling me to hang
in there, as she pushed and pushed on my upper stomach. I heard them say she
was out. I was waiting to hear that first cry…..and heard nothing. I looked at
Rick, and kept asking him where she was and why wasn’t she crying? Seconds
later (felt like years later) I heard a short cry and saw her across the room.
I started bawling.I loved her more than I ever thought was possible already.
The nurse carried her over to me, and I got to see her sweet face for the first
time. She was ours and she was perfect. I kissed her new skin and thanked god
that she was here.
The next few moments are a complete blur. Since she wasn’t
able to take her first breath on her own and was given oxygen she was whisked
to the nursery. Rick followed her. I finally got to meet my sweet girl and then
watch her leave so soon. I felt so vulnerable. I remember my hands were shaking
uncontrollably. I was so sad we didn’t get to have our bonding time and that
something was wrong with her. I never felt more scared in my life. My husband
and daughter were gone and I lay there all alone. I was sent to the recovery
room and was told I had to stay there for an hour. I watched the minute hand on
the clock, and saw each minute tick by. All I wanted was to see Rick and
Stella. I wanted to know that she was ok. I wanted to hold her and stare at
her. I was wheeled back to our room, where Rick was waiting…with no Stella. He
told me she was ok, but had to stay in the nursery until 4:30. (she was born at
12:26) I missed her. I was beyond heart
broken when I was told she was given formula. I wanted that special moment with her.
4:30 rolled around and still no Stella. I sent Rick out to
ask what was taking so long. Call me impatient, but I wanted my daughter
damnit! Finally, I heard the bundle of sweetness roll into our room. Rick
handed her to me. She fit perfectly in my arms. Now that I finally had her, I
didn’t want to let her go. All of my pain subsided because I had all that I
longed for. My husband and my daughter.
We both stared at her in such amazement. Luckily, Stella latched on like
a pro. I was humbled in so many ways.
We have a happy, healthy baby girl in our arms and we love
her to the moon and back.
Stella Evelyn Lykes was born on September 24, 2013 at 12:26
p.m.
A healthy 7 lbs. 9 oz. and 21” long
